Think back to a time in your childhood when someone sang to you—how did it make you feel? Do you remember the song, or where you were at the time? Music mingles with memory in a special way; a snippet of a song can transport us back, not only to a time and a place, but to a feeling. Perhaps you were snuggled sleepily in bed while a loved one sang a lullaby. Or you scraped your knee and your mom crooned a little comfort while she gave you a big hug. Or you were on a family road trip and sang for twenty-five miles about the bear that went over the mountain . . . only to see another mountain.

These are powerful images that resonate because traditionally music in childhood means love, and comfort, and community. The wonderful thing is that you can help create these kinds of memories for your child, just by singing.
As parents and caregivers, we have only a finite amount of time to connect with our children before they grow up. Making music offers a way to connect on social, physical, and emotional levels all at once. No wonder studies show that when parents sing and make music with their children, they form everlasting bonds. Furthermore, that closeness ultimately helps children to feel safe and secure as they grow.

And it couldn't be easier! Grab a favorite CD and sing and dance along to it. Hold your baby and sing softly in her ear as you move through the room. Take your toddler's hands and stomp and sway as you sing his favorite song. Make up silly songs with your older child's help. You may be surprised to discover how delightful it is to sing a song together and how connected to your child you’ll feel. One day, your child will look back and cherish the musical memories of family time well spent.

So this month give yourself a few moments, have an extra cuddle with your child, and sing a song or two! Then come back here and let us know how it went—share your musical stories and ideas by commenting below, or post a family video on the Music Together YouTube channel.

Happy Sing with Your Child Month!

Susan Pujdak Hoffman is a certified Music Together Teacher Trainer and a staff writer/editor. She has written curriculum materials for both the parent-child and preschool programs, as well as teacher training materials and retail products. She also helped create the core curriculum workshops for Music Together teachers. Her daughter Emma has recently applied to college.

When my daughter was born, one of my greatest pleasures in being a new mother was singing to her. I sang often: to amuse her, to distract her, to comfort her, and, frankly, to keep my own spirits up as I went about caring for this mysterious, wonderful, yet occasionally perverse being who had taken over my life. And while we both enjoyed these musical moments during our day, nothing could put us into a mutual state of contented thralldom quite like a song at bedtime.

I would croon old standards such as "I've Got a Crush on You" and "The Nearness of You" as I held her in my arms. If she fussed when I put her into the crib, I simply kept singing as I moved closer and closer to the door of her room. By the time Emma was around nine months old, bedtime had become a no-fuss ritual of a story and a song that we maintained all through her childhood—for so many years, in fact, that she has asked me not to tell you how old she was when our lullaby habit finally faded away. (Pssst: she was in double digits.)

What makes a lullaby so magical? It seems to be a universal impulse for adults to sing to their babies; every culture has its own lullaby tradition. Researchers have shown that parents—whether they realize it or not—even have a special "lullaby voice," a way of adjusting the pitch and tempo that's similar to the adjustments of tone (so-called "motherese") that adults use when speaking to an infant. Sandra Trehub of the University of Toronto has shown that infants have a high preference for this "infant-directed singing" and can distinguish between audiotapes of their parent directing their singing to them versus singing the same song in an empty room. 

Trehub suggests that the infant is sensitive to the emotional undertones present in infant-directed singing, and that the lullaby is a kind of "synchronization device," which coordinates emotion between parent and child. It lulls them both; it produces relaxation and promotes bonding. This was certainly true for me and my daughter. Over the years, lullaby time was when we had our deepest conversations: it was when a naughty deed would be confessed, a fear disclosed, a worrisome question asked. 

The lullaby eased all of that, making everything all right at the end of the day. And thanks to Music Together, we collected a treasured assortment of lullabies that quickly supplanted my old jazz standards.* It was as if—right next to the bookshelf where she browsed to pick out her bedtime story—Emma had a virtual shelf full of lullabies to choose from, too. Bedtime in our house was a peaceful, deeply satisfying time of day.

If I could offer only one piece of advice to parents everywhere, it would be to sing to your child. Songs have a powerful impact on children—they can brighten their mood, relax them, comfort them, or help them to sleep—and that impact, in turn, helps the parent feel competent in their nurturing skills. And if by some chance you can sing only one song each day, please make it a lullaby. Sweet dreams!

*Interestingly, Trehub's research has also suggested that there is wide cross-cultural agreement as to what listeners recognize as a "lullaby." I doubt my beloved Gershwin brothers or Hoagy Carmichael would have carried us so well through the years; their sophisticated ballads lack the simplicity and repetitiveness that give the true lullaby its soothing quality.

This month’s blog features comments from Carol Ann Blank. A board-certified music therapist and Level 1 Certified Music Together teacher, Carol Ann is responsible for developing training materials for implementing the Music Together program models for those teachers, center directors, and preschool program providers who work with children with special needs. In addition, she coordinates research for Music Together LLC and chairs the Special Needs Program Development Workgroup.

Carol Ann teaches Music Together classes for children with special needs in the Trenton, NJ, school district as well as at the Music Together Princeton Lab School. She is the Government Relations Chair for the Mid-Atlantic Region chapter of the American Music Therapy Association, is past-president of the New Jersey Association for Music Therapy, and owns Music Therapy Services of Central New Jersey. Contact Carol Ann at cblank@musictogether.com.

I love going to conferences. No, really—I do! Apart from a break in my everyday routine, I love being able to share what Music Together centers around the country have done to advance the field of early childhood music and movement experiences through parent-child and preschool classes.

This past month, I traveled from coast-to-coast and attended some amazing presentations. I began in Harrisburg, PA, where I celebrated alongside parents, special education teachers and students, clinicians, and administrators at the 50th Anniversary of the Pennsylvania Council for Exceptional Children. I spoke with many people about the continuing need for advocacy and improvement of services for children and adults with special needs within all communities. It was truly inspiring to be in the presence of so many who work tirelessly to promote the right to quality of life for those who are unable to advocate for themselves.

The session I co-presented at PACEC was titled “The Importance of Music and Movement for Young Children with Special Needs.” It was designed to give the attendees an understanding of the many ways that Music Together benefits children with special needs. The take-home message for these teachers, parents, and therapists is this—music has many access points, and finding the ones that work with the children in your setting is not as difficult as you may think. Yes, having a high “silly quotient” is important in your approach, but so are flexibility and open-mindedness.

The week after I attended PACEC, I was off to San Diego, CA, to the American Music Therapy Association’s annual conference. Here I was with many colleagues who are well-acquainted with the long-standing relationship between Music Together and music therapy. Beyond being a pre-approved provider of CMTEs through the Certification Board for Music Therapists, Music Together’s founder Ken Guilmartin is a relative of Norman Goldberg, the first publisher of music-therapy texts.

But I digress…

At AMTA, I had the pleasure of presenting “Reunifying Families in Crisis through Music Therapy and Music Together.” This session was a description of a program offered by a Music Together–trained, board-certified music therapist who is a center director in NJ. Through a social service agency, she offers Music Together classes to families who have been legally separated due to abuse or neglect. Participants in the conference session really got a taste for how a Music Together parent-child class, facilitated by a board-certified music therapist, can provide the necessary “ingredients” for parent-child bonding, decreased stress, and increased musicality in both the adults and the children.
But two conferences in two weeks were not enough! I then flew to Dallas, TX, for the 24th Zero to Three National Training Institute. My co-presenter and I shared a session called “Innovative Applications of Music and Movement that Promote Positive Outcomes for Children and Families.” Despite the long title—or maybe because of it—the session was packed with preschool directors and teachers, early interventionists, and administrators. And, yes, they shook eggs, sang songs with us, and learned about a variety Music Together programs across the country that are being studied by researchers.

Needless to say, I am glad to be home. But I value my experience of the last month, which showed me how hungry people are for good, solid information about working with very young children and their families in a variety of non-traditional ways and settings. I know that Music Together has a place in this new dialogue between governments and community organizations, parents and teachers. Let’s all keep up the good work so that we can continue to further Music Together’s mission to provide the highest quality music and movement experiences to as many young children as possible.

This month’s blog entry features comments by Lili M. Levinowitz, Ph.D., Director of Research for Music Together. Along with her work at Music Together, Dr. Levinowitz is also a Professor of Music Education at Rowan University in New Jersey. She is an authority on early childhood music and teaches very young children as well as graduate students. Dr. Levinowitz’s articles appear frequently in professional journals and widely-circulated publications.

Recently, I gave a presentation at the Princeton Public Library to discuss how developmentally-appropriate music learning enhances learning in all domains. I was so pleased to talk with caregivers and teachers about the physical, intellectual, emotional, and social benefits that are gained through active music-making experiences. In particular, I spoke about Music Together’s early childhood curriculum and our deep commitment to helping families and preschool professionals understand the multi-faceted value of informal musical experiences. The presentation included plenty of music time, too—we sang, played instruments, and made good use of our “Silly Quotients.”

Music Together teachers know how music-making supports all the ways children are learning. They see children recognize the objects in songbook pictures. They see them bouncing confidently to a beat. Every day, in Music Together parent-child classes and preschool programs around the world, we see evidence of cognitive, language, physical, and social-skill development right alongside music development. And now, there is solid research that validates our everyday observations. 

In Bridgeport, Connecticut, a study showed that children who participated in the Music Together Preschool program made significantly greater progress in cognitive, language, and physical learning than children who did not participate in the program. Participation in Music Together® Preschool also seems to have helped these children in social-emotional development.

Another study, in Trenton, New Jersey, affirms that, in addition to supporting the skills necessary for school readiness, music-making activities bring families closer together. 96% of the parents who responded to a survey reported that their children asked them to play the Music Together CDs (which are sent home as part of the preschool program model), either sometimes or all the time. 

Classroom teachers who participated in the Trenton program were also enthusiastic about the opportunity to learn Music Together teaching strategies and curriculum and to integrate music-making into their daily routines. 85% of the teachers who responded to a survey reported a desire for Music Together to return to their classrooms. 

Our greatest goal at Music Together is for families to love making music, whether it’s in the classroom, at home, in the car, or at the grocery store—not because it’s “the right thing to do,” but simply because making music feels good! When people participate in the music of their culture, and do so with ease and joyful abandon, it’s life-affirming. Yes, music learning supports all learning—and it also supports our inherent need to be expressive, creative human beings.

For our first entry, I’d like to talk to you about the idea that is fundamental to the Music Together approach—that parents and caregivers are a child’s most important teachers. Children learn music by seeing people they love model how to be active music-makers. And, in turn, the adults become more and more adept at interacting with their kids in musical ways. By modeling musical behaviors, you become your child’s most important music teacher and help them develop the disposition to be a music-maker. That’s why we call it Music Together: the Together is You.

Of course for many adults, this is easier said than done. If you are a parent who doesn’t consider yourself to be musical, the notion of active participation probably seems pretty unnerving—“You mean you want me to sing and dance? In front of other people?” But parents discover it’s a lot easier than they think to become a music-making family. Regardless of your own musical ability, just by singing along, dancing along, or joining your child in instrument play, you are helping him gain the desire to be a music-maker. And somewhere along the way, you’re likely to discover or reclaim your inner music-maker, too.

In fact, to some parents, it can seem that they like coming to class even more than their kids do! I love it when I hear parents confess that they listen to Music Together songs in the car even when the kids aren’t there. And I love to watch them gradually shift from trying to supervise their child’s learning or behavior in class to having fun making music themselves—that’s success! Not only has another adult reclaimed her musical birthright, she’s also become a better role model for her child. She’ll be better able to follow through on what was sparked in the classroom, just by singing and enjoying music at home. It’s what all our Music Together teachers all around the world work so hard to achieve—encouraging parents to enjoy being music-makers, so they, in turn, can “teach” their children to love making music, too.

So if you’ve attended Music Together classes, how was your first experience? Were you nervous, or worried that you’d be “flunked” for singing out-of-tune? Did that change over time? Do you spontaneously hum or sing or tap the beat more than before as you go through your day? How has the Music Together experience become a part of your family’s daily life?

Kenneth K. Guilmartin
Founder/Director, Music Together LLC

Do you have an anecdote you’d like to share, a song you and your child love to sing together, a question, or a comment? We’d love to hear from you and look forward to learning about all the ways our families are making Music Together.